It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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