i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
