Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
