We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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