Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
