I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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