Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
