My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
