Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
