the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
