If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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