Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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