I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize