So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pants are for mortals
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
