just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
