I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
please come you make the beer taste better
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
