God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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