you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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