You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize