Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
