just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
