he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
