Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
