franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
