theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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