I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
