Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
