she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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