The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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