why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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