69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
