Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize