arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Alive.
So much puke
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
