Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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