I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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