You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
