Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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