Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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