we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
