Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
