maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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