you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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