I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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