dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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