remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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