My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
