Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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