I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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