it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
