either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize