I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
