In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
