I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
