Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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