if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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