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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
