we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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