At least make sure they are 18
Why
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
