end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
