Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
