it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
