its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
