I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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