Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
where are you?
Hypothermia
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
