Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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