you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
